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I never paid attention to my femininity until later in my 30’s.
Afterall I assumed that being born a woman meant I naturally knew how to lean into my womanhood.
That was until I realised that the same way you learn a skill for your job is the same way I needed to learn to be a woman, more so a feminine woman at that, a very humbling moment for me.
Prior to now, the only other time I actively sought to understand myself was when I was getting married. Part of my African roots meant I had to undergo lessons from my tribe of maternal aunties around me. This was more of a rite of passage.
Thing is even at that point, it was more about pleasing my soon to be husband than really understanding what it means to be a woman.
Needless to say, this has been one interesting journey and a never-ending one at that. Like life itself, one can never be too grown or too experienced to learn something new.
The poem, “Phenomenal woman” by Maya Angelou is the perfect definition of what femininity looks like in a woman.
A feminine woman is one who:
1. Loves Herself
“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.”
A feminine woman knows she’s not model pretty or even a classic beauty, yet she doesn’t feel the pressure to fit into the beauty mould that the world around her dictates. That alone makes her different. It gives her the esteem to stand in her truth.
2.Embraces her feminine curves
“It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.”
By adoring every inch of her body, she accepts the beauty that flows through her well-endowed body.
3. Has an alluring presence
“I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.”
The aura around a feminine woman is magnetic. It draws people into her energy. Men can’t get enough of her soft and enigmatic presence. That’s feminine power at play.
4. Possesses Inner Mystery
“Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,”
She’s subtle yet poised, but still, her feminine essence speaks volumes.
5. She’s confident
“Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud”.
A feminine woman understands who she is and because she’s self-assured, she’s comfortable in her own skin.
It's really not about being how demure you need to be or how perfect your body size, age, or skin tone is. The essence of your femininity is within your reach. It's hidden in elements within you, waiting to be unearthed. Phenomenal woman, That's you!
Try this:
Next time you stand in front of the mirror, all by yourself, take a good look at the beauty that stands in front of you. What do you see?
Do you have more questions? Let us know in the comments!
Hugs,
Linda
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